Ok. Ok. Ok. I know a lot has happened since the last time I blogged. With Mj, Farrah, my random dermatologist appt. I will fill y'all in on what has been going on in our life lately......... Here we go!
SO last week I made an appt to go see the friendly little dermatologist. I have never really been bc I haven't ever really had bad skin- no acne in middle school or anything like that. But I decided to make an appt bc of, well yes my hypo-ness. NOw I watch Grey's anatomy- stop me if you know where this is going- but I decided that I must have skin cancer bc Izzie on Grey's was diagnosed with it. So I made an appt to get my whole body checked. Being the most modest person in the world, I was a bit nervous on what exactly happens when they check you for skin cancer. I made an appt with a girl Dr. in Mansfield. I was NOT going to go to a guy- that would be awful. So I get there and the nurse brings me back. She asks me if I have any history of skin cancer, I answered "No." She asked me if I have found something suspicious on my body, I answered "No." Apparently people don't just go to get checked bc they have a fear of everything. I tried to explain that I was there bc I am a Grey's anatomy fan and she didn't even want to hear it. She was typing on her laptop and I swear I saw her type "PSYCHO" But anyways- who is she to judge. Her bronzer was way too orange- but who am I to judge. So right before she leaves the room she hands me what looks like the paper bib that a dentist puts on you when your getting a filling- side-note, very familiar with the dental practice, I had 10 cavities in one visit- yes I swear I brush my teeth! But if anyone ever needs a filling I could pretty much walk you through it. Just let me know - Anyways she hands me the bib and then basically a piece of paper the size of a post-it and says " The Dr. would like for you to put this on, I said " SERIOUSLY?" She says "Yes, you can leave on your bra and panties." And she shut the door. I panicked. I knew I was going to have to be in some form of an embarrassing gown or something, but two sheets of paper? And not to mention this is going to be the first time I meet this Dr. I don't make a very good first impression with a post-it covering my thighs, believe it or not they need alittle more to properly cover them up. PLUS- it wasn't like I was laying down on a bed, I was sitting- I do not make a good first impression folded up with a sheet of paper on. I was sucking in more that I ever had- I wish she could have checked me with my spanx on!
SO- she comes in, first thing I notice is she is this little tiny Asian lady, she didn't understand how embarrassed I was- she has been eating 1 bowl of rice since birth and she probably only eats like 1 time a week. She is tiny! And she resembled my nail girl at Hot Nails but at least with my pedicure I have clothes on! Then I noticed her shirt- it said "Botox" in rhinestones! I wasn't sure how to take that! My nail girl never wears that. She has cute rhinestone shoes but that is different- or she will wear a shirt that says BEBE in rhinestones, but BOTOX? But she does a quick scan over my body- surprisingly she didn't even move the post-it. I guess she figured that 1/2" of my body wouldn't have any problems. Anyways- she says " Nothing wrong with you, but you have severe skin damage from the sun." I said "Really- at my age?" She goes " How old are you?" I said " 25!" " She said "Shit!" Jk but she was shocked-She told me I need to wear sunblock all day then tried to get me to get these laser treatments- I quickly learned she was just trying to get me started on all this crap that would make her money and make my husband mad- It's hard enough to explain I have to have solars, pedicure, eyelashes dyed, brows shaped and dyed ect. And when he says he thinks we need a lawn guy- I freak out! Why would we need something like that? Anyways I left the derm feeling alittle worse about myself -and went straight to the store and stocked up on self- tanner- so now I feel bad and orange!
Alright- MJ! OMG! All I know is this was a pretty sad loss in my life,The Ward household may never be the same. AM I going to be able to get through my routines for Lucas and Jami without crying? It's going to be hard but I am going to have to try. The night that he passed, I did turn on " Don't stop till you get enough" and tried to do a moderate routine- I mean it wasn't all out concert mode- it had been awhile ( like 3 days) since I had last done my routine and I didn't wanna pull a hammy, I didn't properly stretch- but it was very hard to even half-ass it. I was sad- plus I started to realize that myself and Michael kind of needed some new moves- there is only so much moon walking you can do before it just looks repetitive. I will never get those new moves. Nor will I ever get to see him in concert again. I just am not sure how our dance parties are going to go from now on. Will all of our friends be ok with playing his greatest hits and having dance-offs, or will it be too hard for everyone? I am just still 5 days later trying to process this. It's very overwhelming. I am so glad I didn't ever actually marry him. I mean I know he was weird but wouldn't that money he did have kind of make you ignore the weirdness- once we were married and I noticed that a guy who sleeps in a tank/dome thing with his pet monkey Bubbles because he wants to live until 150 yrs old, I think the money would have made me ignore it, especially if I was just permanently placed in the Louis Vuitton store to keep my mouth shut- but I know I am not living to 150 yrs old like he thought he and Bubbles would-so maybe I should have divorced him. Who knows- I will never get to know now- this is so sad for me and the whole Jackson family. We have not been in contact(because they have ZERO idea who I am) but they know the offer is here- I have said it once, and I will say it again- his legend and legacy will live on in The Ward household after a few Miller Lights- there just may be some tears.
AND Farrah- not a camera flashes with out me trying to throw back my head and smile like her and her hair- OMG- I have spent many hours with a curling iron in my bathroom (wanting to magically make Gary show up to fix my hair bc it is kind of looking like a rats nest) trying to per-fect the modern day Farrah do! Such a sad day that June 25th.
So that kind of gets everyone up to base with my life- well I do have to add that my nephew Cale is the size of a mini incredible Hulk! He isn't green yet but he is the biggest boy. He has the biggest rolly polly thighs and his head could be in the Guinness! He is the most adorable little boy ever, and his face is so chunky it makes his eyes look Asian but pretty soon he is going to be carrying Lindsey around! (quick side-note, he has really tiny feet though! So it just adds to the cuteness!) I will try and put up some new pics of him!
Talk to ya'll later!
Jo
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Old Pictures I found from the bridesmaid luncheon and rehearsal dinner. Hadley took most of these pictures! She is such alittle photographer!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Love Blinders
Hello!
I have not written in forever! I have had nothing really to write about but I have been really busy also! Believe it or not. I am back at my other office in Dallas, and with that comes a lot more to do- which I love. I also love that I am back to being around more places to eat for lunch. Which has really affected me in the last two weeks. Got on the scale today- Complete 5lbs since last time I weigh, ( I am gonna go with too much sodium this weekend ) and that is added to the love pounds I gained in the first year Lucas and I started dating! (Well 12 the first year and 10 the next. I am getting on the treadmill after work and never getting off. )I have also got to put down the miller light and cheese. I mean 5'1 and 20 or so pounds is pretty noticeable!
It doesn't help that Lucas wears LOVE BLINDERS. He like seriously does not see how I really look. You know that In Touch weekly with Kim Kardashian on the front a couple weeks ago, where she was "unretouched" ( please) Well I had that in our bathroom and after Luke had spent some time in there- using the bathroom, he comes out with that magazine in hand. He goes " Babe, minus the boobs, this is totally what you look like in a bathing suit. " He goes "that's exactly what your tummy looks like." First of all- no the boob thing didn't bother me, I am realistic, those will come after I pop some chillens out- but seriously. I do not know what angle or lighting I must stubble into when I am in a bikini around Lucas. I mean maybe in the pitch black night I could maybe resemble the shape of her, maybe, and that is kind of complimenting myself a little too much. Obviously not the lighting in the Dillards dressing rooms! My goodness do they have to be that telling! I was appalled this weekend! Regardless- I do NOT look like her, and I am not just being hard on myself! That girl claims to be a size 2- which I really don't now what over sized store she shops in- but I haven't been a size two since I think 1st grade! If I ever was- I think I just skipped from kids clothes to an 8! ( And added to that over the years!) Another thing that I love he says- is like this weekend. I was getting ready for the weddings we were going to- ( plural bc yes we went to 2! Pretty Ruff!) I am putting on my makeup- and I had fake eyelashes on- which now after looking at a few pics that were taken- made me look like a tranny about to perform! I got them a little long this time, (also, I realized, spanks are not a miracle worker- you have to meet them half way- just because you have them on doesn't mean you can actually stick your stomach out as if trying to compete with a 7 mth pregnant girl, I mean after looking at pictures, I realized those give me a false sense of self. I was appalled!) but you know I am putting on more than I normally wear- like eyeliner etc. I always have on makeup but I guess I do not really wear that much besides mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick-I don't really wear anything on my face besides bronzer, which "The Lady" hates! " It looks a little orange" she says- yeah better than a little white! I am a natural strawberry blond! Don't have the darkest skin tone, Mom! But anyways. I go into the other bathroom where I have made him get ready! ( I swear I am a nice wife - it just gets so humid when he showers in our bathroom- I mean he waits until I have just taken out the curlers and says" I am gonna get in now" Thanks- why didn't I just let my Janis Joplin Fro air dry?)ANYWAYS- I ask him " Do I have on too much makeup?" - he goes " NO, I think you look hot!" I rolled my eyes of course and said " No seriously babe, I kind of look like a hoe!" He goes" Who cares?" " I said " I do- u should. We both should- why would you want your wife to look like a hooker? Why would you even say that? Why are you putting gel in your hair if your answer is" Who Cares?" I DO! " Anyways he goes on to say- " Babe you look fine, it's just because you don't really wear makeup bc you are so naturally pretty!" BLINDERS! Has he ever seen me without eyebrows and mascara? I look like an alien! For like the first year he never saw me without mascara. I remember I had to go to the emergency room after about a year of dating bc I had something called pleurisy( spelling) and in as much pain as I was in, crying etc, I went to the bathroom and reapplied my mascara! And yes I wear makeup! I swear he really wears love goggles! I guess I shouldn't be complaining. It is really sweet that he sees me like that- but it has made the gaining weight a little easier! Which is not good!
Anyways- so two weddings in one night is ruff! I will say both brides looked beautiful and I took advantage of the open bars- Man did I ever. But as I was recapping the night to my sister the next day, she reminded me of something. I ALWAYS take advantage of the open bars at weddings. I remember my sister's wedding, I was helping get things together after her and Ryan had left and The Lady asked me a question, and I turned to her and answered her, and she goes "Oh Jodie, you need to eat something, tomorrow is not gonna be pretty!" I make her proud sometimes I think! (This was after Lucas and I cleared the dance floor to perform our version of "My Humps" by the Black eyed Peas- yeah it's on her wedding video and I have only seen it once, but I have to say I am not as great of a dancer as I think after a few drinks, and definitely not as hot! And kind of made her wedding a little more about me.......Blah blah blah!)
I think the only wedding I was good at was mine! And that was just because you don't really have time to drink too much at your own. I did however have time to do my version of " Rolling on a River" by Ike and Tina!( With No Ike! Not sure where he was!) And I wonder why my hair fell flat at my wedding! Our video still, for some strange reason, has not come in, but I am sure I will be pretty embarrassed seeing my flushed face as Tina! I bet it was pretty!
Anyways- my life is going to consist of weight loss and healthy habits, and work, and of Course- The Huz! I think it's time to drop the love pounds- even if Lucas says no bc he won't have anything to grab onto! Oh please- I am not sure if he has really ever looked at me! I have never been a waif! Oh well! Some girls have it worse! My husband loves the crap outta me! And I love him so much, and I love that he loves me so much! Even if I like to make fun of him in my blogs! He is just really a funny guy!
Love ya'll!
I have not written in forever! I have had nothing really to write about but I have been really busy also! Believe it or not. I am back at my other office in Dallas, and with that comes a lot more to do- which I love. I also love that I am back to being around more places to eat for lunch. Which has really affected me in the last two weeks. Got on the scale today- Complete 5lbs since last time I weigh, ( I am gonna go with too much sodium this weekend ) and that is added to the love pounds I gained in the first year Lucas and I started dating! (Well 12 the first year and 10 the next. I am getting on the treadmill after work and never getting off. )I have also got to put down the miller light and cheese. I mean 5'1 and 20 or so pounds is pretty noticeable!
It doesn't help that Lucas wears LOVE BLINDERS. He like seriously does not see how I really look. You know that In Touch weekly with Kim Kardashian on the front a couple weeks ago, where she was "unretouched" ( please) Well I had that in our bathroom and after Luke had spent some time in there- using the bathroom, he comes out with that magazine in hand. He goes " Babe, minus the boobs, this is totally what you look like in a bathing suit. " He goes "that's exactly what your tummy looks like." First of all- no the boob thing didn't bother me, I am realistic, those will come after I pop some chillens out- but seriously. I do not know what angle or lighting I must stubble into when I am in a bikini around Lucas. I mean maybe in the pitch black night I could maybe resemble the shape of her, maybe, and that is kind of complimenting myself a little too much. Obviously not the lighting in the Dillards dressing rooms! My goodness do they have to be that telling! I was appalled this weekend! Regardless- I do NOT look like her, and I am not just being hard on myself! That girl claims to be a size 2- which I really don't now what over sized store she shops in- but I haven't been a size two since I think 1st grade! If I ever was- I think I just skipped from kids clothes to an 8! ( And added to that over the years!) Another thing that I love he says- is like this weekend. I was getting ready for the weddings we were going to- ( plural bc yes we went to 2! Pretty Ruff!) I am putting on my makeup- and I had fake eyelashes on- which now after looking at a few pics that were taken- made me look like a tranny about to perform! I got them a little long this time, (also, I realized, spanks are not a miracle worker- you have to meet them half way- just because you have them on doesn't mean you can actually stick your stomach out as if trying to compete with a 7 mth pregnant girl, I mean after looking at pictures, I realized those give me a false sense of self. I was appalled!) but you know I am putting on more than I normally wear- like eyeliner etc. I always have on makeup but I guess I do not really wear that much besides mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick-I don't really wear anything on my face besides bronzer, which "The Lady" hates! " It looks a little orange" she says- yeah better than a little white! I am a natural strawberry blond! Don't have the darkest skin tone, Mom! But anyways. I go into the other bathroom where I have made him get ready! ( I swear I am a nice wife - it just gets so humid when he showers in our bathroom- I mean he waits until I have just taken out the curlers and says" I am gonna get in now" Thanks- why didn't I just let my Janis Joplin Fro air dry?)ANYWAYS- I ask him " Do I have on too much makeup?" - he goes " NO, I think you look hot!" I rolled my eyes of course and said " No seriously babe, I kind of look like a hoe!" He goes" Who cares?" " I said " I do- u should. We both should- why would you want your wife to look like a hooker? Why would you even say that? Why are you putting gel in your hair if your answer is" Who Cares?" I DO! " Anyways he goes on to say- " Babe you look fine, it's just because you don't really wear makeup bc you are so naturally pretty!" BLINDERS! Has he ever seen me without eyebrows and mascara? I look like an alien! For like the first year he never saw me without mascara. I remember I had to go to the emergency room after about a year of dating bc I had something called pleurisy( spelling) and in as much pain as I was in, crying etc, I went to the bathroom and reapplied my mascara! And yes I wear makeup! I swear he really wears love goggles! I guess I shouldn't be complaining. It is really sweet that he sees me like that- but it has made the gaining weight a little easier! Which is not good!
Anyways- so two weddings in one night is ruff! I will say both brides looked beautiful and I took advantage of the open bars- Man did I ever. But as I was recapping the night to my sister the next day, she reminded me of something. I ALWAYS take advantage of the open bars at weddings. I remember my sister's wedding, I was helping get things together after her and Ryan had left and The Lady asked me a question, and I turned to her and answered her, and she goes "Oh Jodie, you need to eat something, tomorrow is not gonna be pretty!" I make her proud sometimes I think! (This was after Lucas and I cleared the dance floor to perform our version of "My Humps" by the Black eyed Peas- yeah it's on her wedding video and I have only seen it once, but I have to say I am not as great of a dancer as I think after a few drinks, and definitely not as hot! And kind of made her wedding a little more about me.......Blah blah blah!)
I think the only wedding I was good at was mine! And that was just because you don't really have time to drink too much at your own. I did however have time to do my version of " Rolling on a River" by Ike and Tina!( With No Ike! Not sure where he was!) And I wonder why my hair fell flat at my wedding! Our video still, for some strange reason, has not come in, but I am sure I will be pretty embarrassed seeing my flushed face as Tina! I bet it was pretty!
Anyways- my life is going to consist of weight loss and healthy habits, and work, and of Course- The Huz! I think it's time to drop the love pounds- even if Lucas says no bc he won't have anything to grab onto! Oh please- I am not sure if he has really ever looked at me! I have never been a waif! Oh well! Some girls have it worse! My husband loves the crap outta me! And I love him so much, and I love that he loves me so much! Even if I like to make fun of him in my blogs! He is just really a funny guy!
Love ya'll!
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