Wow..... Can you believe the Holidays are already here? I can't! We did have a very productive weekend and got our tree up and Christmas lights up outside. It looks good, although my wrapped tree doesn't look as good as it did last year. I don't know if I will win my made up neighborhood award again this year. (No one knows about the contest but me, but still I can't win if other homes look better) Last night we watched Christmas Vacation! We were laughing so hard, that is always a great way to get into the holiday spirit. You know what's crazy- that movie came out 20 years ago! Now if that doesn't make you feel old then I don't know what will! I was shocked!
I love this time of year, I love to think of all I have to be thankful for and all the love I have surrounding my life. I also love all the old traditions with my family and getting used to new traditions with Lucas's family! Holidays are crazy for us! We went to 6 X-mas's last year. That's alot, but we love it all! It is so good to see everyone- which reminds me I probably need to squeeze in a highlight before Christmas Eve! I am also trying to squeeze off 10 lbs before then too! I wonder which of the two will be accomplished?
I want to share with everyone some of my favorite memories of Christmas with my wonderful family, I can't wait to add more memories this year!
1. I love to remember waking up X-mas morning running downstairs to a Barbie wonderland! My poor Brother! I am not even sure if he got gifts! But me and Linz would have every Barbie they made, that we didn't already have, I think it actually got to a point to where we got the same ones, bc Mattel didn't manufacture enough!
2. I remember when I was little Aunt Sheryl stayed over on Christmas Eve ( I believe the story was she kind of had to stay if you know what I mean- she was in her 20's! ) But she slept on the couch at our house on Green Tree I believe. She told us the next morning that she saw Santa's butt climbing up the chimney! I still can remember thinking how cool that was and I think a part of me someday wants to be that toasted that I see Santa's butt climbing up the chimney...... I bet she actually did!
3. I remember one year at our house on Nob Hill, being so nervous that I wasn't going to get my Barbie Dream house. I could not sleep, which was not an unusual thing for me! I have always been on the anxious side! (I blame the Lady) Ok so I was so worried I wouldn't get that house, not even because I hadn't been good, I was never worried about that- that shit didn't take on me, I was worried Santa didn't listen hard enough to my list. I mean this house was amazing...... Huge three stories, glittery sparkly pink paint on the outside, purple roof- why could Aunt Sheryl not find us a house like that? It even had a real live doorbell! Ok so I was so nervous, I was plotting ways to get into our living room to make sure it was there, so I came up with a great plan- Go check and make sure I left enough cookies for the big guy himself. SO I get up, sneak by Linz room bc I knew she wouldn't approve of what I was doing, walk through the kitchen and BAM! All I remember seeing was Paps on the ground in the middle of the living room putting that Dream house together! I didn't care that he was doing it not Santa- I was just glad I got it. My parents came up with a story that Santa didn't have time- WHATEVER- wasn't traumatic for me- I got the house right? Whew, I could go back to sleep until about 2:00 AM when I started waking the family up to open gifts!
3. I remember many years of playing board games with Lindsey at like 1:00 AM until time to wake everyone up. I also love that Linz always said she needed to go look and see if Santa had come not me, and she would check to make sure he brought Felicity, the new American Girl doll that I asked for, along with her bed, armoire, ect. Kind of how she always got to be Miss Sarah- our dance teacher when we played, and she got to be Miss Jenny too. I just let it roll, I mean I was bossy enough, had to let her boss me around a few times! That same year that I got Felicity, we got a trampoline- so fun! And Linz got a boom box with Public Enemy and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch CD. And she got the coolest hat- looked like something Blossom would wear- she put it on and did the running man to Marky Mark- what a great look! Again, not sure if Cory even participated in Christmas- his rifles and hunting junk did not interest me at all!
4. I loved our tradition we had going for many years- when we were leaving to go to Gran and Paps's house for X-mas day- we always had to get to the gate leaving the house, and Mom would ask " OK did we forget anything?" As we all sat there and thought about it the gate would close on the Tahoe- cuss words would fly from Dad, but it happened like 3 years in a row! Gosh I love the holidays!
5. I love going to Pantiego Bible Church on Christmas Eve. I just love the feeling of it there, The candlelight service and everything. I just wish sooo bad we could still go this year. But marriage brings needing to be in two places at once- just not sure how we will squeeze it in!
6. I love the memories of craziness on the holidays- all I will say- I think we all get it!
7. Hadilini getting her slide a few years ago! She went up and down so many times! I love thinking of her pretty smiling face!
8. A funny memory is how Mom and Dad would let us open up one gift Christmas Eve and it was always our PJ's. She would get us all cute Pj's so we would look cute in the video. What is even funnier is that when we woke her up to open presents, we would have to get our hair fixed first. She wanted us to look cute in the video- the funny thing is I know I will be the same exact way!
9. I also think it's funny that my Mom can never remember to put the right labels on gifts. Every year Cory opens a purse or I open men's cologne! She does it every year! Or she will forget where she puts presents.
10. I love thinking of when Lucas came over to my apartment for the first time with our friend Brett. Brett fell asleep on the couch. Lucas took one look at my X-mas tree that I had decorated all by myself, and started laughing! He basically told me it was horrible- I hadn't pulled any of the branches apart- apparently you are supposed to do that! We sat there and re-did my tree, laughing and talking.I told him that I had the biggest crush on him in highschool- he had no idea..... whatever- he said he had one on me too-WHATEVER! From that moment I knew it was going to be more than just a tree decorating friendship with that one! It was love!
I hope that ya'll enjoyed my X-mas memories! I hope to add some new ones this year! I love being with my family, just being together is the biggest gift! Crazy how gifts aren't as important when you become an adult! (That's really not true....... I could use a new Louis Vuitton.)
Love Y'all-
Jo
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Dog-Lovers!!!!
Some of my Favorite pics!
THINGS THAT SCARE ME
A few thing that scare me........
1.) Blue whales, not all whales- not even the ones with killer in their names, just Blue whales. Now Lucas tells me that not matter how hard I try I will never see one and if I do they don't eat people. But my fear is that he is wrong and I will be swimming in the ocean and realize that there is a blue whale next to me- and before I know it- he has swallowed me. Not because he wants to eat me but he yawns and the current is so strong that I float in there. I know I wouldn't go down his throat because of how their mouths are, but I would get stuck in there. Just stuck to live for the rest of my life. I would have to say out of all the pickles I have found myself in throughout my life- this would be the worst. Now is it irrational that I don't get in the ocean for this very reason.....absolutely not. I think it is just common sense.
2.) Mice, rats, squirrels and anything else that has no backbone(I am not even sure if that is true, all I know is they can squirm in very small places)I have a rational reason to be scared to death of these things. I lived in an apartment in Mississippi for awhile, my psycho roommate was bulimic or something. We all of the sudden got a mice problem. I know this was not my fault. I am very clean- I think it was all her problems that brought them in. I know I should be more sympathetic but it was gross that we had mice. One ran across my foot too. And they would totally play games with me. They would hide and come out only when I was on the couch. The second I looked over at Mickey- he would run and hide somewhere until I got completely comfy and then the same game would go on and on. All in all we caught 6. And to top that all off, when Lucas and I moved into our new house we discovered the beauty of power lines. The first day we moved in, we are out on the patio- and notice huge freaking rats like to travel on power lines. Now we had orkin and terminex come out so we are all baited up in the yard. I am not sure if they are still there, but after about 2 weeks of obsessing over them, seeing the travelers every night I stopped looking. What I cant see isn't there right? (Just like my sister claims Coppell doesn't have mice.....because she refuses to notice them)
3.)Hoarders- it's gross, disgusting, dirty......enough said. Well not quite. It makes my skin crawl to think of people having junk mail piled up, or food from Costco- like 100 cans of soup- there is no reason for that. I get so grossed out to think of people who have clothes in there closet from 4 years ago. There is a reason why you haven't worn it, so throw it out. Skin literally crawling.
4.)Dinosaurs....... I say I don't believe in them, but really it's because they scare the crap out of me so I refuse to believe they ever existed.
5.)Cats- not house cats, unless the hiss at me, but alley cats. They carry feline AIDS and even though my vet has told me I can't get it, I am still not sure who to believe. Plus they also carry mice, in their mouths. Enough said.
6.)I have a fear of making people mad at me- I hate drama so normally when people get mad at me, I apologize and if that doesn't work, then that's the end of that bc I can't stand thinking of someone not liking me.
7.) I am terrified of jail- this is why I never drive. I don't even drive sober at night. I just get so scared a cop will pull me over and assume I have been drinking because my mouthwash and gum- I will blow higher than a .08 and they will haul me off to jail for the night. I can't imagine how dirty and gross it is. I would cry so hard I think they would kick me out!
8.)So scared of having kids..... the epidural never worked for my sister, she could feel every contraction. So you know with my outstanding luck it won't work on me either. Yup........
9.) I am scared of the dark- not to where I can't be in it but my mind plays tricks on me and I always see someone stealing our dvd player...... I know it's blue ray but that puzzles me as to why they would take that. If I robbed us I would take Skeeter Jennings........;)
10.) OBAMA......
11.) Recession.......
12.) Marilyn Manson......
13.) Barbara Walters.......
14.) baseballs hitting me in the head- I 'd be done.
15.) car accidents
Hope y'all enjoyed my fears...... I am fully aware that I have a little crazy on my side, just roll with it.
Jo
1.) Blue whales, not all whales- not even the ones with killer in their names, just Blue whales. Now Lucas tells me that not matter how hard I try I will never see one and if I do they don't eat people. But my fear is that he is wrong and I will be swimming in the ocean and realize that there is a blue whale next to me- and before I know it- he has swallowed me. Not because he wants to eat me but he yawns and the current is so strong that I float in there. I know I wouldn't go down his throat because of how their mouths are, but I would get stuck in there. Just stuck to live for the rest of my life. I would have to say out of all the pickles I have found myself in throughout my life- this would be the worst. Now is it irrational that I don't get in the ocean for this very reason.....absolutely not. I think it is just common sense.
2.) Mice, rats, squirrels and anything else that has no backbone(I am not even sure if that is true, all I know is they can squirm in very small places)I have a rational reason to be scared to death of these things. I lived in an apartment in Mississippi for awhile, my psycho roommate was bulimic or something. We all of the sudden got a mice problem. I know this was not my fault. I am very clean- I think it was all her problems that brought them in. I know I should be more sympathetic but it was gross that we had mice. One ran across my foot too. And they would totally play games with me. They would hide and come out only when I was on the couch. The second I looked over at Mickey- he would run and hide somewhere until I got completely comfy and then the same game would go on and on. All in all we caught 6. And to top that all off, when Lucas and I moved into our new house we discovered the beauty of power lines. The first day we moved in, we are out on the patio- and notice huge freaking rats like to travel on power lines. Now we had orkin and terminex come out so we are all baited up in the yard. I am not sure if they are still there, but after about 2 weeks of obsessing over them, seeing the travelers every night I stopped looking. What I cant see isn't there right? (Just like my sister claims Coppell doesn't have mice.....because she refuses to notice them)
3.)Hoarders- it's gross, disgusting, dirty......enough said. Well not quite. It makes my skin crawl to think of people having junk mail piled up, or food from Costco- like 100 cans of soup- there is no reason for that. I get so grossed out to think of people who have clothes in there closet from 4 years ago. There is a reason why you haven't worn it, so throw it out. Skin literally crawling.
4.)Dinosaurs....... I say I don't believe in them, but really it's because they scare the crap out of me so I refuse to believe they ever existed.
5.)Cats- not house cats, unless the hiss at me, but alley cats. They carry feline AIDS and even though my vet has told me I can't get it, I am still not sure who to believe. Plus they also carry mice, in their mouths. Enough said.
6.)I have a fear of making people mad at me- I hate drama so normally when people get mad at me, I apologize and if that doesn't work, then that's the end of that bc I can't stand thinking of someone not liking me.
7.) I am terrified of jail- this is why I never drive. I don't even drive sober at night. I just get so scared a cop will pull me over and assume I have been drinking because my mouthwash and gum- I will blow higher than a .08 and they will haul me off to jail for the night. I can't imagine how dirty and gross it is. I would cry so hard I think they would kick me out!
8.)So scared of having kids..... the epidural never worked for my sister, she could feel every contraction. So you know with my outstanding luck it won't work on me either. Yup........
9.) I am scared of the dark- not to where I can't be in it but my mind plays tricks on me and I always see someone stealing our dvd player...... I know it's blue ray but that puzzles me as to why they would take that. If I robbed us I would take Skeeter Jennings........;)
10.) OBAMA......
11.) Recession.......
12.) Marilyn Manson......
13.) Barbara Walters.......
14.) baseballs hitting me in the head- I 'd be done.
15.) car accidents
Hope y'all enjoyed my fears...... I am fully aware that I have a little crazy on my side, just roll with it.
Jo
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
My First Time Babysitting Cale! ( my nephew)
Hey Ya'll!
OMG- it has been forever since I have blogged! But it's not that I have been super busy or anything like that, it's bc I kind of realized I live a pretty boring life now and there isn't anything to ever write about! But I will try to get back in the groove!
Lately I have had a case of the baby fever- that has now STOPPED! I snapped out of it when I baby sat Cale for the first time. Not that he is a bad lil' monster or anything- he is actually the most precious thing ever- but it was just hard. He is so happy all the time and smiling non stop. But when he is not happy or smiling, he is not very fun to be around. I realized that when they cry you have to do something with them in order to make them stop. You can't just throw another toy in front of him or hand him a jar of food.(Trust me, I tried!) No you have to actually figure out how to stop him from screaming. I will explain my experience..........
I come over to my sister's house all the way in DANG COPPELL, which by the way Lucas mysteriously found something else to do that night then come help me babysit, my future flashes before my eyes of being a single parent- Just Kidding!- but I get to their house and her and Ryan are getting ready for their evening. Everything was perfectly calm and normal, Lindsey was making the most modest person in the world
(ME) extremely uncomfortable changing in front of me- ( we used to live together and I swear she would walk around naked just because she thinks it's hilarious how uncomfortable it makes me! I am sorry but that is not funny- and that's why I think it is funny to never tell her she has a big chunk of broccoli in her teeth!) Ryan ironing his shirt, and Calers was in his bouncing thing that hangs from the doorway. NOW he is so funny in this thing! He loves to bounce and always finds a way to get all twisted and laughs so loud at himself! I am thinking, to myself, you know this may not be as hard as I thought it was going to be, even if I have a mild to strong hangover I am rocking this evening. ( At 25, a freaking night of drinking "a few" beers gives me a wicked hang!) Yeah- you may think it would scare my sister to think of me babysitting with a hangover, but she understands- it's how I roll! (JUST KIDDING- but Hadley and I once bonded bc of a hangover! We took the best nap together ever!She's been my girl ever since!) So I am completely calm! Cale is bouncing making hilarious sounds. Then Linz is done changing- THANK GOD- and she starts trying to tell me everything I need to know in about 5 seconds. But that may not sound to hard to get if you are a normal person, but remember what I am rocking, and to top it off- Ryan is telling me things at the same time, which is not easy bc I can't figure out who is telling me the right thing to do- they were both giving me good options for the evening BUT Ryan is explaining how to work the TV and telling me I can get Chinese food on him....... Naturally I am paying more attention to him! I mean how hard is it to feed that baby? Piece of cake- I mean I have fed Hadley like 4 years ago- I am sure it is like riding a bike right? I mean this Chinese is Luke's and my favorite from when we use to live in Euless! This is really an important thing to be listening to. Ryan starts telling me how to work the MAC laptop- that's where I stopped listening, he was no longer on feeding for me..... Linz is giving me the rundown- still I am thinking this guy is being an angel- this will be a piece of cake! "No Problem"- I think I said, "Don't worry about us! We've got this taken care of!" So off they go.
As the garage closes, I kind of start to sweat, I know there was something about spit up on sheets, dryer,and Cale sleeping. As I am trying to piece that info together I decide to feed Cale. SO I got the chicken jar she left out and start to feed him. This isn't too bad! He is being good, he is really good, but still no idea why I can't get spit up on sheets, dryer and Cale sleeping out of my head, and as I am feeding and thinking I notice something else has come in the mix- Cale's fist. Apparently he likes that in his mouth along with his spoon and chicken baby food. Oh Hold on I am starting to remember something- the dryer has to be turned off manually- but all of the sudden, not only does Cale like his fist in his mouth along with his spoon and food- he also like to use the other hand as a torture device for his Aunt Godie, yup- the kid starts pulling my hair. OMG- that little thing has a grip. As I am trying to pry my hair out of his 5 1/2 month old hands, I remember what it was I needed to do- Turn off the dryer, take the sheets out and put them on Cale's crib before he goes to sleep! That was a relief, then I cut that chunk of hair out of my head,let him play with it because it was easier than getting him to release, all while still thinking- this is not that bad! After two jars of baby food, with a mini panic attack because I can't for sure remember which food he can't have after he has had chicken( I later remember I was correct in not giving him more meat but giving his some fruit, I just chose banana baby food bc it looked good!) - we are done eating.
I get Cale situated on the floor with his play thing that lights up, makes noise and shakes or something- I only did this bc the little guy is heavy and your back starts to hurt if you hold him for to long of period without putting him down. Linz told me he loves this thing and will stay occupied for awhile. I am thinking- EASY! He can play here for awhile, I'll order my Chinese food, put him down, then my food will be here! I'll enjoy alittle TV and Moo Goo Gu Pan! Perfect- everything is a piece of cake. I go to see if they have any cokes in the fridge when I notice the milk in the fridge had leaked and spilled everywhere- being the clean freak I am I can't just leave it- so I start taking everything out of their fridge. I notice Cale getting alittle frustrated with what is in front of him, but this is no time to panic- so I just keep cleaning the fridge while singing Britney Spears to Cale in a really sweet voice. I am knee deep in Brateris leftovers when he really starts doing more than a fuss. SO I run over to him, and grab him. I start trying to calm him down. The only way he isn't crying big tears is if I hold him, so Cale and I finish cleaning out their fridge together. Which was difficult bc he kept wanting to grab the bottled beer- I may be a fan, but he is too young! I get him calm back on his play mat just long enough to order my food. I had to act fast- Ryan doesn't offer to pay for my dinner alot. ( I did mention to Linz to leave a little seed money for the babysitter- but still it was a nice gesture and I was going to take advantage of it!) Right when I hang up the phone, Cale starts screaming. Ok- no time to panic. He is so upset with something me or the two dogs have done. ( By the way- they were keeping a friends dog also) As Cale and I stand there crying I realize he probably has a dirty diaper. Oh Great! I had promised myself he wasn't going to get one, I have been terrified to change his diaper because I have heard through the grapevine he can have a sprinkler affect. I decide I have to face my fear and change it- well there was no sprinkler, but a massive dirty diaper- I was not expecting this- and keep in mind we are both still crying- I am trying to get him cleaned up while holding my nose, and I am trying to do it super quick, bc he really doesn't like this- ( I find out later from my sister one thing she forgot to mention is that he has diaper rash, that kid is going to hate me forever!) I finally feel like I got him cleaned up and strap that diaper on with the help of some duct tape. I pick him up and realize there is mess on the butt of the new diaper- you have got to be kidding me! How did it get under him?
I start trying to give him his bottle. He does not want this, but I know they told me to do this before bed and I just know he is tired- it can't be me, IT is just tired right? SO I am trying to force a bottle down his mouth, because they told me to, not because I am mean- I am explaining this to him when the dogs start going crazy- what the hell? Oh crap- the freaking Chinese guy couldn't have come at a worse time. I start contemplating just not getting the door, because this poor little guy is way more important and he is very upset- but then I decide I can just open the door, grab the food and slam it. I can let Linz and Ryan explain to the Chinese guy what was going on the next time they order. Well I forgot one part- I have to sign the dam receipt! SO I open the door and two white balls of fur rush for the street. I have Cale in one arm, screaming for Huck and Kobe to get back in the house ( Cale is crying also) and I have a Chinese guy laughing at the dogs while trying to hand me a pen! I explain to the Chinese guy through tears- that I just can't sign right now...... He says " You baby sit first time tonight?" I nodded. He said " It ok I wait for my tip!" I thought WTF- I have to tip him too? I finally sign something and tip him I think like $20 bones, get the dogs in, and close the door. OH MY GOSH! At this time, I grab my phone to let Lucas know we will never have kids- and if he wants them start looking for a new model because I am not up for this.
I decide to put Cale down in his crib, I think it can't hurt even though all the bottle he had taken was all over my shirt, he has to be tired from the trauma his Aunt Godie has put him through. I lay him on his tummy, on the clean sheets I put down, and start rubbing his bottom. ( I had put another diaper on him since somehow the mess from earlier was on the outside, but I didn't clean up the changing table that it also ended up on, some things I left for the Mom and Dad! I freaking alphabetized their fridge for crying out!) In about 5 minutes he is completely asleep. I all of the sudden realize why I love him so much- even though this was MIZ and so hard, he is the sweetest most precious little angel.( when he is sleeping) And I just hope he forgives me........
SO basically I have put off babies on the brain for awhile. I am sure it was just a bad night for me and Cale- bc I think he still loves me! I can really make him laugh most the time! He so fun and I love being an AUNT- I am perfectly fine staying an AUNT for awhile!
Quick side note to the parents Linz and Ryan - please don't hate me for this blog! I swear I will be a better babysitter next time! I had to get my groove! He still has all major limbs!
Love ya'll!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
King Size Bed Shopping Trip!
Here we go.......
So- through much consideration, The Ward household welcomed a new edition! A KING sized bed! We are very happy with our purchase. I am happy bc a queen sized bed is just too small when your hairy-legged husband is a snuggler! It's nice to not always have one leg hanging off the bed because I am just trying to get a little space. I may even get to put a couple inches between me and the edge, which will take some getting used to, but at least I won't fall off anymore! Don't get me wrong- I love to snuggle with Luke for like the first 5 minutes, but once he falls asleep and the snoring begins- I like a little space- it's hard to say my prayers with all that noise!
Oh- the process of getting the bed was a pretty comical time. Let me start by saying- it was a long day.........
We decide after a lunch at Bj's Brew House that we are going to go bed shopping! It was 4th of July weekend so we knew we could get some good deals. We go to the first place and automatically try to bolt in without being noticed- but Anita found us. She immediately comes up to us and starts trying to sell us everything around us. We tell her we are just browsing and will find her if we need anything. She continues to literally follow us around the store- at one point hiding behind a plant- I swear- she was totally behind a fake plant trying to hide the fact that she was 2 ft behind us. She was super annoying and wouldn't let us move without her behind us. We really liked one bedroom set but we thought we would continue to look around before buying this one. So we go from store to store- in the meantime- Lucas made a stop at the gas station. He went in an came out with a Gatorade and SHOCKERS. Now do you know what shockers are? I didn't- so when I asked my 25 year old husband what they were he replied" They are like sprees but they are sour!" I said "Seriously?"So now we are going from store to store with Lucas making sour face while we are trying to negotiate our adult bed! It was a bit much to say the least. As we went to all the different stores we couldn't find anything we liked as much as the first bed. SO BACK TO ANITA!
We went in the store and started looking for the sales lady who had followed us around. We couldn't find her- she was stalking another poor young couple-so we ask a guy in front of us if he could find her, only we couldn't remember her name. So this guy starts helping us. We felt like we were committing a crime! We were so nervous Anita was going to find us and like arrest us because she had followed us around for an hour and here we have someone else following us around. Well she finds us and she is pissed. I mean pissed. Her eyes look at me like my Mom's used to when she would find out I had drank at a high school party or something. I felt 16. I immediately start apologizing to the sales lady. I said " I am so sorry, we couldn't find you, and we forgot your name." She said" Hmmm your back and your using someone else, I'll take over from here." I look over at my husband for support against this evil lady and he had just popped a SHOCKER in his mouth, yellow I think, so he just had stupid sour face. He clearly didn't have my back on this one- as the lady and I are about to throw down, my husbands eyes are squinted, no one takes someone with sour face seriously when they are talking shit!
Anyways- I apologized, and when she see that we are interested in like the most expensive bed there, she forgives me. She immediately starts trying to throw in all this other crap. I was standing in between her and sour face with the Iphone to the ear, making sure "The Lady" ( my mother) approved of our choice. I actually took a picture and emailed it to her to make sure I would have her complete approval. I am sure Lucas loves my Mom's input! ( Long Marriage for Sour Face) I get her approval and tell Anita that we don't really want the nightstands bc they are too matchy. She said" Well you want it all to match perfect!" I said " Well my Mom's a designer and she says they aren't really matching every piece anymore" - Which she did say that but I am not sure where "The Lady" got her qualifications to be an actual designer. I am not sure if other designers who have worked hard and gotten degrees in design would appreciate me deciding my mom is a designer because she can run to Hobby Lobby and throw an apartment together with a couple Marilyn Monroe prints mixed with zebra pillows! But anyways- she does know what she is talking about!
Anita kind of looks at me all weird like she can't believe that we are bedroom shopping and I have brought my mom up like 10 times. But again she has never met "The Lady" and she doesn't get that I truly have never made a single decision without involving her. I think the only thing I have decided on my own was to get a tattoo and we all know how well that one turned out.( If you don't scroll down it's mentioned in the blog titled FAME!)So Anita keeps trying to convince us we need the nightstands- now Sour Face and her are discussing the nightstands I am again on the phone with " The Lady" because for some reason she doesn't get that I am in the middle of the store. She keeps calling just waiting for us to say- "Come up here, help us decide"- I knew that would throw Sour Face and Anita over the edge! "The Lady" is like trying to listen to what Anita is saying and is answering her questions and I am repeating it. Finally I said " Babe, Mom said that the KING size plus those huge nightstands may not fit along our wall!" This got Anita right in the jugular. Now my Mom is messing with her sale- apparently you don't mess with Anita's sale- she looked scrappy...... I was nervous. As silence comes over the entire furniture store Anita turns to my Husband and said " Well is her Mother going to be sleeping in this bed with y'all?" Oh no she didn't! Luke was so uncomfortable he actually dropped his SHOCKERS- he quickly found the cafe with cookies and convinced everyone there they are free, and him and all the other men are sitting in the recliner section watching TV with cookies and milk. But I looked at Anita and said "NO, but I value her opinion, let's MOVE ON TO MATTRESSES......."
Anita basically is running through the store to get to the mattress section. We couldn't keep up- I was actually dizzy because the maze she was taking us through. We end up in the children's section where Sour Cookie Face is showing me the type of bunk beds he an Mike always wanted. As annoyed as I was with him, you gotta love him! Anita finds us and says something to the affect of are y'all freaking coming?
SO as we enter the mattress section- she turns into this hard core Jersey car salesman. I am not sure where this accent came from but the end of every sentence is "Arright?" She is showing us the different types of beds and firmness- Sour is having fun with this- while I am worried that with all the jumping on the bed he is gonna choke on a SHOCKER, I can't even make myself sit on these beds. I am so grossed out as I look over next to me and see a whole family who smell like old curry lounging on these beds- then a family who smells like they work at Hibachi 2007 sprawled across the beds- and some white trash looking couple making out on a Temperpedic(spelling?)- I am grossed out. SO Sour is bouncing around and I am like "Babe -that's way too soft if you bounce when you sit down."........ As he popped another SHOCKER in his mouth-and says " Well- I am making myself bounce!" Geez! Is he my son or my Husband?
We decided on a bed and mattress and are loving life- we got out of there alive, Anita didn't kill us but we are required with our contract to invite her over for steaks every other Thursday for the next 5 years - or she'll charge us interest! JK! It was an experience like pretty much everything else in our lives. I will say it took my husband a long time to come down from the sugar high of 5 cookies and a whole roll of Shockers! But we have a KING sized bed- so the sugar high snore doesn't seem as bad!
Love ya'll!
So- through much consideration, The Ward household welcomed a new edition! A KING sized bed! We are very happy with our purchase. I am happy bc a queen sized bed is just too small when your hairy-legged husband is a snuggler! It's nice to not always have one leg hanging off the bed because I am just trying to get a little space. I may even get to put a couple inches between me and the edge, which will take some getting used to, but at least I won't fall off anymore! Don't get me wrong- I love to snuggle with Luke for like the first 5 minutes, but once he falls asleep and the snoring begins- I like a little space- it's hard to say my prayers with all that noise!
Oh- the process of getting the bed was a pretty comical time. Let me start by saying- it was a long day.........
We decide after a lunch at Bj's Brew House that we are going to go bed shopping! It was 4th of July weekend so we knew we could get some good deals. We go to the first place and automatically try to bolt in without being noticed- but Anita found us. She immediately comes up to us and starts trying to sell us everything around us. We tell her we are just browsing and will find her if we need anything. She continues to literally follow us around the store- at one point hiding behind a plant- I swear- she was totally behind a fake plant trying to hide the fact that she was 2 ft behind us. She was super annoying and wouldn't let us move without her behind us. We really liked one bedroom set but we thought we would continue to look around before buying this one. So we go from store to store- in the meantime- Lucas made a stop at the gas station. He went in an came out with a Gatorade and SHOCKERS. Now do you know what shockers are? I didn't- so when I asked my 25 year old husband what they were he replied" They are like sprees but they are sour!" I said "Seriously?"So now we are going from store to store with Lucas making sour face while we are trying to negotiate our adult bed! It was a bit much to say the least. As we went to all the different stores we couldn't find anything we liked as much as the first bed. SO BACK TO ANITA!
We went in the store and started looking for the sales lady who had followed us around. We couldn't find her- she was stalking another poor young couple-so we ask a guy in front of us if he could find her, only we couldn't remember her name. So this guy starts helping us. We felt like we were committing a crime! We were so nervous Anita was going to find us and like arrest us because she had followed us around for an hour and here we have someone else following us around. Well she finds us and she is pissed. I mean pissed. Her eyes look at me like my Mom's used to when she would find out I had drank at a high school party or something. I felt 16. I immediately start apologizing to the sales lady. I said " I am so sorry, we couldn't find you, and we forgot your name." She said" Hmmm your back and your using someone else, I'll take over from here." I look over at my husband for support against this evil lady and he had just popped a SHOCKER in his mouth, yellow I think, so he just had stupid sour face. He clearly didn't have my back on this one- as the lady and I are about to throw down, my husbands eyes are squinted, no one takes someone with sour face seriously when they are talking shit!
Anyways- I apologized, and when she see that we are interested in like the most expensive bed there, she forgives me. She immediately starts trying to throw in all this other crap. I was standing in between her and sour face with the Iphone to the ear, making sure "The Lady" ( my mother) approved of our choice. I actually took a picture and emailed it to her to make sure I would have her complete approval. I am sure Lucas loves my Mom's input! ( Long Marriage for Sour Face) I get her approval and tell Anita that we don't really want the nightstands bc they are too matchy. She said" Well you want it all to match perfect!" I said " Well my Mom's a designer and she says they aren't really matching every piece anymore" - Which she did say that but I am not sure where "The Lady" got her qualifications to be an actual designer. I am not sure if other designers who have worked hard and gotten degrees in design would appreciate me deciding my mom is a designer because she can run to Hobby Lobby and throw an apartment together with a couple Marilyn Monroe prints mixed with zebra pillows! But anyways- she does know what she is talking about!
Anita kind of looks at me all weird like she can't believe that we are bedroom shopping and I have brought my mom up like 10 times. But again she has never met "The Lady" and she doesn't get that I truly have never made a single decision without involving her. I think the only thing I have decided on my own was to get a tattoo and we all know how well that one turned out.( If you don't scroll down it's mentioned in the blog titled FAME!)So Anita keeps trying to convince us we need the nightstands- now Sour Face and her are discussing the nightstands I am again on the phone with " The Lady" because for some reason she doesn't get that I am in the middle of the store. She keeps calling just waiting for us to say- "Come up here, help us decide"- I knew that would throw Sour Face and Anita over the edge! "The Lady" is like trying to listen to what Anita is saying and is answering her questions and I am repeating it. Finally I said " Babe, Mom said that the KING size plus those huge nightstands may not fit along our wall!" This got Anita right in the jugular. Now my Mom is messing with her sale- apparently you don't mess with Anita's sale- she looked scrappy...... I was nervous. As silence comes over the entire furniture store Anita turns to my Husband and said " Well is her Mother going to be sleeping in this bed with y'all?" Oh no she didn't! Luke was so uncomfortable he actually dropped his SHOCKERS- he quickly found the cafe with cookies and convinced everyone there they are free, and him and all the other men are sitting in the recliner section watching TV with cookies and milk. But I looked at Anita and said "NO, but I value her opinion, let's MOVE ON TO MATTRESSES......."
Anita basically is running through the store to get to the mattress section. We couldn't keep up- I was actually dizzy because the maze she was taking us through. We end up in the children's section where Sour Cookie Face is showing me the type of bunk beds he an Mike always wanted. As annoyed as I was with him, you gotta love him! Anita finds us and says something to the affect of are y'all freaking coming?
SO as we enter the mattress section- she turns into this hard core Jersey car salesman. I am not sure where this accent came from but the end of every sentence is "Arright?" She is showing us the different types of beds and firmness- Sour is having fun with this- while I am worried that with all the jumping on the bed he is gonna choke on a SHOCKER, I can't even make myself sit on these beds. I am so grossed out as I look over next to me and see a whole family who smell like old curry lounging on these beds- then a family who smells like they work at Hibachi 2007 sprawled across the beds- and some white trash looking couple making out on a Temperpedic(spelling?)- I am grossed out. SO Sour is bouncing around and I am like "Babe -that's way too soft if you bounce when you sit down."........ As he popped another SHOCKER in his mouth-and says " Well- I am making myself bounce!" Geez! Is he my son or my Husband?
We decided on a bed and mattress and are loving life- we got out of there alive, Anita didn't kill us but we are required with our contract to invite her over for steaks every other Thursday for the next 5 years - or she'll charge us interest! JK! It was an experience like pretty much everything else in our lives. I will say it took my husband a long time to come down from the sugar high of 5 cookies and a whole roll of Shockers! But we have a KING sized bed- so the sugar high snore doesn't seem as bad!
Love ya'll!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Michael J Forever!
Ok. Ok. Ok. I know a lot has happened since the last time I blogged. With Mj, Farrah, my random dermatologist appt. I will fill y'all in on what has been going on in our life lately......... Here we go!
SO last week I made an appt to go see the friendly little dermatologist. I have never really been bc I haven't ever really had bad skin- no acne in middle school or anything like that. But I decided to make an appt bc of, well yes my hypo-ness. NOw I watch Grey's anatomy- stop me if you know where this is going- but I decided that I must have skin cancer bc Izzie on Grey's was diagnosed with it. So I made an appt to get my whole body checked. Being the most modest person in the world, I was a bit nervous on what exactly happens when they check you for skin cancer. I made an appt with a girl Dr. in Mansfield. I was NOT going to go to a guy- that would be awful. So I get there and the nurse brings me back. She asks me if I have any history of skin cancer, I answered "No." She asked me if I have found something suspicious on my body, I answered "No." Apparently people don't just go to get checked bc they have a fear of everything. I tried to explain that I was there bc I am a Grey's anatomy fan and she didn't even want to hear it. She was typing on her laptop and I swear I saw her type "PSYCHO" But anyways- who is she to judge. Her bronzer was way too orange- but who am I to judge. So right before she leaves the room she hands me what looks like the paper bib that a dentist puts on you when your getting a filling- side-note, very familiar with the dental practice, I had 10 cavities in one visit- yes I swear I brush my teeth! But if anyone ever needs a filling I could pretty much walk you through it. Just let me know - Anyways she hands me the bib and then basically a piece of paper the size of a post-it and says " The Dr. would like for you to put this on, I said " SERIOUSLY?" She says "Yes, you can leave on your bra and panties." And she shut the door. I panicked. I knew I was going to have to be in some form of an embarrassing gown or something, but two sheets of paper? And not to mention this is going to be the first time I meet this Dr. I don't make a very good first impression with a post-it covering my thighs, believe it or not they need alittle more to properly cover them up. PLUS- it wasn't like I was laying down on a bed, I was sitting- I do not make a good first impression folded up with a sheet of paper on. I was sucking in more that I ever had- I wish she could have checked me with my spanx on!
SO- she comes in, first thing I notice is she is this little tiny Asian lady, she didn't understand how embarrassed I was- she has been eating 1 bowl of rice since birth and she probably only eats like 1 time a week. She is tiny! And she resembled my nail girl at Hot Nails but at least with my pedicure I have clothes on! Then I noticed her shirt- it said "Botox" in rhinestones! I wasn't sure how to take that! My nail girl never wears that. She has cute rhinestone shoes but that is different- or she will wear a shirt that says BEBE in rhinestones, but BOTOX? But she does a quick scan over my body- surprisingly she didn't even move the post-it. I guess she figured that 1/2" of my body wouldn't have any problems. Anyways- she says " Nothing wrong with you, but you have severe skin damage from the sun." I said "Really- at my age?" She goes " How old are you?" I said " 25!" " She said "Shit!" Jk but she was shocked-She told me I need to wear sunblock all day then tried to get me to get these laser treatments- I quickly learned she was just trying to get me started on all this crap that would make her money and make my husband mad- It's hard enough to explain I have to have solars, pedicure, eyelashes dyed, brows shaped and dyed ect. And when he says he thinks we need a lawn guy- I freak out! Why would we need something like that? Anyways I left the derm feeling alittle worse about myself -and went straight to the store and stocked up on self- tanner- so now I feel bad and orange!
Alright- MJ! OMG! All I know is this was a pretty sad loss in my life,The Ward household may never be the same. AM I going to be able to get through my routines for Lucas and Jami without crying? It's going to be hard but I am going to have to try. The night that he passed, I did turn on " Don't stop till you get enough" and tried to do a moderate routine- I mean it wasn't all out concert mode- it had been awhile ( like 3 days) since I had last done my routine and I didn't wanna pull a hammy, I didn't properly stretch- but it was very hard to even half-ass it. I was sad- plus I started to realize that myself and Michael kind of needed some new moves- there is only so much moon walking you can do before it just looks repetitive. I will never get those new moves. Nor will I ever get to see him in concert again. I just am not sure how our dance parties are going to go from now on. Will all of our friends be ok with playing his greatest hits and having dance-offs, or will it be too hard for everyone? I am just still 5 days later trying to process this. It's very overwhelming. I am so glad I didn't ever actually marry him. I mean I know he was weird but wouldn't that money he did have kind of make you ignore the weirdness- once we were married and I noticed that a guy who sleeps in a tank/dome thing with his pet monkey Bubbles because he wants to live until 150 yrs old, I think the money would have made me ignore it, especially if I was just permanently placed in the Louis Vuitton store to keep my mouth shut- but I know I am not living to 150 yrs old like he thought he and Bubbles would-so maybe I should have divorced him. Who knows- I will never get to know now- this is so sad for me and the whole Jackson family. We have not been in contact(because they have ZERO idea who I am) but they know the offer is here- I have said it once, and I will say it again- his legend and legacy will live on in The Ward household after a few Miller Lights- there just may be some tears.
AND Farrah- not a camera flashes with out me trying to throw back my head and smile like her and her hair- OMG- I have spent many hours with a curling iron in my bathroom (wanting to magically make Gary show up to fix my hair bc it is kind of looking like a rats nest) trying to per-fect the modern day Farrah do! Such a sad day that June 25th.
So that kind of gets everyone up to base with my life- well I do have to add that my nephew Cale is the size of a mini incredible Hulk! He isn't green yet but he is the biggest boy. He has the biggest rolly polly thighs and his head could be in the Guinness! He is the most adorable little boy ever, and his face is so chunky it makes his eyes look Asian but pretty soon he is going to be carrying Lindsey around! (quick side-note, he has really tiny feet though! So it just adds to the cuteness!) I will try and put up some new pics of him!
Talk to ya'll later!
Jo
SO last week I made an appt to go see the friendly little dermatologist. I have never really been bc I haven't ever really had bad skin- no acne in middle school or anything like that. But I decided to make an appt bc of, well yes my hypo-ness. NOw I watch Grey's anatomy- stop me if you know where this is going- but I decided that I must have skin cancer bc Izzie on Grey's was diagnosed with it. So I made an appt to get my whole body checked. Being the most modest person in the world, I was a bit nervous on what exactly happens when they check you for skin cancer. I made an appt with a girl Dr. in Mansfield. I was NOT going to go to a guy- that would be awful. So I get there and the nurse brings me back. She asks me if I have any history of skin cancer, I answered "No." She asked me if I have found something suspicious on my body, I answered "No." Apparently people don't just go to get checked bc they have a fear of everything. I tried to explain that I was there bc I am a Grey's anatomy fan and she didn't even want to hear it. She was typing on her laptop and I swear I saw her type "PSYCHO" But anyways- who is she to judge. Her bronzer was way too orange- but who am I to judge. So right before she leaves the room she hands me what looks like the paper bib that a dentist puts on you when your getting a filling- side-note, very familiar with the dental practice, I had 10 cavities in one visit- yes I swear I brush my teeth! But if anyone ever needs a filling I could pretty much walk you through it. Just let me know - Anyways she hands me the bib and then basically a piece of paper the size of a post-it and says " The Dr. would like for you to put this on, I said " SERIOUSLY?" She says "Yes, you can leave on your bra and panties." And she shut the door. I panicked. I knew I was going to have to be in some form of an embarrassing gown or something, but two sheets of paper? And not to mention this is going to be the first time I meet this Dr. I don't make a very good first impression with a post-it covering my thighs, believe it or not they need alittle more to properly cover them up. PLUS- it wasn't like I was laying down on a bed, I was sitting- I do not make a good first impression folded up with a sheet of paper on. I was sucking in more that I ever had- I wish she could have checked me with my spanx on!
SO- she comes in, first thing I notice is she is this little tiny Asian lady, she didn't understand how embarrassed I was- she has been eating 1 bowl of rice since birth and she probably only eats like 1 time a week. She is tiny! And she resembled my nail girl at Hot Nails but at least with my pedicure I have clothes on! Then I noticed her shirt- it said "Botox" in rhinestones! I wasn't sure how to take that! My nail girl never wears that. She has cute rhinestone shoes but that is different- or she will wear a shirt that says BEBE in rhinestones, but BOTOX? But she does a quick scan over my body- surprisingly she didn't even move the post-it. I guess she figured that 1/2" of my body wouldn't have any problems. Anyways- she says " Nothing wrong with you, but you have severe skin damage from the sun." I said "Really- at my age?" She goes " How old are you?" I said " 25!" " She said "Shit!" Jk but she was shocked-She told me I need to wear sunblock all day then tried to get me to get these laser treatments- I quickly learned she was just trying to get me started on all this crap that would make her money and make my husband mad- It's hard enough to explain I have to have solars, pedicure, eyelashes dyed, brows shaped and dyed ect. And when he says he thinks we need a lawn guy- I freak out! Why would we need something like that? Anyways I left the derm feeling alittle worse about myself -and went straight to the store and stocked up on self- tanner- so now I feel bad and orange!
Alright- MJ! OMG! All I know is this was a pretty sad loss in my life,The Ward household may never be the same. AM I going to be able to get through my routines for Lucas and Jami without crying? It's going to be hard but I am going to have to try. The night that he passed, I did turn on " Don't stop till you get enough" and tried to do a moderate routine- I mean it wasn't all out concert mode- it had been awhile ( like 3 days) since I had last done my routine and I didn't wanna pull a hammy, I didn't properly stretch- but it was very hard to even half-ass it. I was sad- plus I started to realize that myself and Michael kind of needed some new moves- there is only so much moon walking you can do before it just looks repetitive. I will never get those new moves. Nor will I ever get to see him in concert again. I just am not sure how our dance parties are going to go from now on. Will all of our friends be ok with playing his greatest hits and having dance-offs, or will it be too hard for everyone? I am just still 5 days later trying to process this. It's very overwhelming. I am so glad I didn't ever actually marry him. I mean I know he was weird but wouldn't that money he did have kind of make you ignore the weirdness- once we were married and I noticed that a guy who sleeps in a tank/dome thing with his pet monkey Bubbles because he wants to live until 150 yrs old, I think the money would have made me ignore it, especially if I was just permanently placed in the Louis Vuitton store to keep my mouth shut- but I know I am not living to 150 yrs old like he thought he and Bubbles would-so maybe I should have divorced him. Who knows- I will never get to know now- this is so sad for me and the whole Jackson family. We have not been in contact(because they have ZERO idea who I am) but they know the offer is here- I have said it once, and I will say it again- his legend and legacy will live on in The Ward household after a few Miller Lights- there just may be some tears.
AND Farrah- not a camera flashes with out me trying to throw back my head and smile like her and her hair- OMG- I have spent many hours with a curling iron in my bathroom (wanting to magically make Gary show up to fix my hair bc it is kind of looking like a rats nest) trying to per-fect the modern day Farrah do! Such a sad day that June 25th.
So that kind of gets everyone up to base with my life- well I do have to add that my nephew Cale is the size of a mini incredible Hulk! He isn't green yet but he is the biggest boy. He has the biggest rolly polly thighs and his head could be in the Guinness! He is the most adorable little boy ever, and his face is so chunky it makes his eyes look Asian but pretty soon he is going to be carrying Lindsey around! (quick side-note, he has really tiny feet though! So it just adds to the cuteness!) I will try and put up some new pics of him!
Talk to ya'll later!
Jo
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Old Pictures I found from the bridesmaid luncheon and rehearsal dinner. Hadley took most of these pictures! She is such alittle photographer!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Love Blinders
Hello!
I have not written in forever! I have had nothing really to write about but I have been really busy also! Believe it or not. I am back at my other office in Dallas, and with that comes a lot more to do- which I love. I also love that I am back to being around more places to eat for lunch. Which has really affected me in the last two weeks. Got on the scale today- Complete 5lbs since last time I weigh, ( I am gonna go with too much sodium this weekend ) and that is added to the love pounds I gained in the first year Lucas and I started dating! (Well 12 the first year and 10 the next. I am getting on the treadmill after work and never getting off. )I have also got to put down the miller light and cheese. I mean 5'1 and 20 or so pounds is pretty noticeable!
It doesn't help that Lucas wears LOVE BLINDERS. He like seriously does not see how I really look. You know that In Touch weekly with Kim Kardashian on the front a couple weeks ago, where she was "unretouched" ( please) Well I had that in our bathroom and after Luke had spent some time in there- using the bathroom, he comes out with that magazine in hand. He goes " Babe, minus the boobs, this is totally what you look like in a bathing suit. " He goes "that's exactly what your tummy looks like." First of all- no the boob thing didn't bother me, I am realistic, those will come after I pop some chillens out- but seriously. I do not know what angle or lighting I must stubble into when I am in a bikini around Lucas. I mean maybe in the pitch black night I could maybe resemble the shape of her, maybe, and that is kind of complimenting myself a little too much. Obviously not the lighting in the Dillards dressing rooms! My goodness do they have to be that telling! I was appalled this weekend! Regardless- I do NOT look like her, and I am not just being hard on myself! That girl claims to be a size 2- which I really don't now what over sized store she shops in- but I haven't been a size two since I think 1st grade! If I ever was- I think I just skipped from kids clothes to an 8! ( And added to that over the years!) Another thing that I love he says- is like this weekend. I was getting ready for the weddings we were going to- ( plural bc yes we went to 2! Pretty Ruff!) I am putting on my makeup- and I had fake eyelashes on- which now after looking at a few pics that were taken- made me look like a tranny about to perform! I got them a little long this time, (also, I realized, spanks are not a miracle worker- you have to meet them half way- just because you have them on doesn't mean you can actually stick your stomach out as if trying to compete with a 7 mth pregnant girl, I mean after looking at pictures, I realized those give me a false sense of self. I was appalled!) but you know I am putting on more than I normally wear- like eyeliner etc. I always have on makeup but I guess I do not really wear that much besides mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick-I don't really wear anything on my face besides bronzer, which "The Lady" hates! " It looks a little orange" she says- yeah better than a little white! I am a natural strawberry blond! Don't have the darkest skin tone, Mom! But anyways. I go into the other bathroom where I have made him get ready! ( I swear I am a nice wife - it just gets so humid when he showers in our bathroom- I mean he waits until I have just taken out the curlers and says" I am gonna get in now" Thanks- why didn't I just let my Janis Joplin Fro air dry?)ANYWAYS- I ask him " Do I have on too much makeup?" - he goes " NO, I think you look hot!" I rolled my eyes of course and said " No seriously babe, I kind of look like a hoe!" He goes" Who cares?" " I said " I do- u should. We both should- why would you want your wife to look like a hooker? Why would you even say that? Why are you putting gel in your hair if your answer is" Who Cares?" I DO! " Anyways he goes on to say- " Babe you look fine, it's just because you don't really wear makeup bc you are so naturally pretty!" BLINDERS! Has he ever seen me without eyebrows and mascara? I look like an alien! For like the first year he never saw me without mascara. I remember I had to go to the emergency room after about a year of dating bc I had something called pleurisy( spelling) and in as much pain as I was in, crying etc, I went to the bathroom and reapplied my mascara! And yes I wear makeup! I swear he really wears love goggles! I guess I shouldn't be complaining. It is really sweet that he sees me like that- but it has made the gaining weight a little easier! Which is not good!
Anyways- so two weddings in one night is ruff! I will say both brides looked beautiful and I took advantage of the open bars- Man did I ever. But as I was recapping the night to my sister the next day, she reminded me of something. I ALWAYS take advantage of the open bars at weddings. I remember my sister's wedding, I was helping get things together after her and Ryan had left and The Lady asked me a question, and I turned to her and answered her, and she goes "Oh Jodie, you need to eat something, tomorrow is not gonna be pretty!" I make her proud sometimes I think! (This was after Lucas and I cleared the dance floor to perform our version of "My Humps" by the Black eyed Peas- yeah it's on her wedding video and I have only seen it once, but I have to say I am not as great of a dancer as I think after a few drinks, and definitely not as hot! And kind of made her wedding a little more about me.......Blah blah blah!)
I think the only wedding I was good at was mine! And that was just because you don't really have time to drink too much at your own. I did however have time to do my version of " Rolling on a River" by Ike and Tina!( With No Ike! Not sure where he was!) And I wonder why my hair fell flat at my wedding! Our video still, for some strange reason, has not come in, but I am sure I will be pretty embarrassed seeing my flushed face as Tina! I bet it was pretty!
Anyways- my life is going to consist of weight loss and healthy habits, and work, and of Course- The Huz! I think it's time to drop the love pounds- even if Lucas says no bc he won't have anything to grab onto! Oh please- I am not sure if he has really ever looked at me! I have never been a waif! Oh well! Some girls have it worse! My husband loves the crap outta me! And I love him so much, and I love that he loves me so much! Even if I like to make fun of him in my blogs! He is just really a funny guy!
Love ya'll!
I have not written in forever! I have had nothing really to write about but I have been really busy also! Believe it or not. I am back at my other office in Dallas, and with that comes a lot more to do- which I love. I also love that I am back to being around more places to eat for lunch. Which has really affected me in the last two weeks. Got on the scale today- Complete 5lbs since last time I weigh, ( I am gonna go with too much sodium this weekend ) and that is added to the love pounds I gained in the first year Lucas and I started dating! (Well 12 the first year and 10 the next. I am getting on the treadmill after work and never getting off. )I have also got to put down the miller light and cheese. I mean 5'1 and 20 or so pounds is pretty noticeable!
It doesn't help that Lucas wears LOVE BLINDERS. He like seriously does not see how I really look. You know that In Touch weekly with Kim Kardashian on the front a couple weeks ago, where she was "unretouched" ( please) Well I had that in our bathroom and after Luke had spent some time in there- using the bathroom, he comes out with that magazine in hand. He goes " Babe, minus the boobs, this is totally what you look like in a bathing suit. " He goes "that's exactly what your tummy looks like." First of all- no the boob thing didn't bother me, I am realistic, those will come after I pop some chillens out- but seriously. I do not know what angle or lighting I must stubble into when I am in a bikini around Lucas. I mean maybe in the pitch black night I could maybe resemble the shape of her, maybe, and that is kind of complimenting myself a little too much. Obviously not the lighting in the Dillards dressing rooms! My goodness do they have to be that telling! I was appalled this weekend! Regardless- I do NOT look like her, and I am not just being hard on myself! That girl claims to be a size 2- which I really don't now what over sized store she shops in- but I haven't been a size two since I think 1st grade! If I ever was- I think I just skipped from kids clothes to an 8! ( And added to that over the years!) Another thing that I love he says- is like this weekend. I was getting ready for the weddings we were going to- ( plural bc yes we went to 2! Pretty Ruff!) I am putting on my makeup- and I had fake eyelashes on- which now after looking at a few pics that were taken- made me look like a tranny about to perform! I got them a little long this time, (also, I realized, spanks are not a miracle worker- you have to meet them half way- just because you have them on doesn't mean you can actually stick your stomach out as if trying to compete with a 7 mth pregnant girl, I mean after looking at pictures, I realized those give me a false sense of self. I was appalled!) but you know I am putting on more than I normally wear- like eyeliner etc. I always have on makeup but I guess I do not really wear that much besides mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick-I don't really wear anything on my face besides bronzer, which "The Lady" hates! " It looks a little orange" she says- yeah better than a little white! I am a natural strawberry blond! Don't have the darkest skin tone, Mom! But anyways. I go into the other bathroom where I have made him get ready! ( I swear I am a nice wife - it just gets so humid when he showers in our bathroom- I mean he waits until I have just taken out the curlers and says" I am gonna get in now" Thanks- why didn't I just let my Janis Joplin Fro air dry?)ANYWAYS- I ask him " Do I have on too much makeup?" - he goes " NO, I think you look hot!" I rolled my eyes of course and said " No seriously babe, I kind of look like a hoe!" He goes" Who cares?" " I said " I do- u should. We both should- why would you want your wife to look like a hooker? Why would you even say that? Why are you putting gel in your hair if your answer is" Who Cares?" I DO! " Anyways he goes on to say- " Babe you look fine, it's just because you don't really wear makeup bc you are so naturally pretty!" BLINDERS! Has he ever seen me without eyebrows and mascara? I look like an alien! For like the first year he never saw me without mascara. I remember I had to go to the emergency room after about a year of dating bc I had something called pleurisy( spelling) and in as much pain as I was in, crying etc, I went to the bathroom and reapplied my mascara! And yes I wear makeup! I swear he really wears love goggles! I guess I shouldn't be complaining. It is really sweet that he sees me like that- but it has made the gaining weight a little easier! Which is not good!
Anyways- so two weddings in one night is ruff! I will say both brides looked beautiful and I took advantage of the open bars- Man did I ever. But as I was recapping the night to my sister the next day, she reminded me of something. I ALWAYS take advantage of the open bars at weddings. I remember my sister's wedding, I was helping get things together after her and Ryan had left and The Lady asked me a question, and I turned to her and answered her, and she goes "Oh Jodie, you need to eat something, tomorrow is not gonna be pretty!" I make her proud sometimes I think! (This was after Lucas and I cleared the dance floor to perform our version of "My Humps" by the Black eyed Peas- yeah it's on her wedding video and I have only seen it once, but I have to say I am not as great of a dancer as I think after a few drinks, and definitely not as hot! And kind of made her wedding a little more about me.......Blah blah blah!)
I think the only wedding I was good at was mine! And that was just because you don't really have time to drink too much at your own. I did however have time to do my version of " Rolling on a River" by Ike and Tina!( With No Ike! Not sure where he was!) And I wonder why my hair fell flat at my wedding! Our video still, for some strange reason, has not come in, but I am sure I will be pretty embarrassed seeing my flushed face as Tina! I bet it was pretty!
Anyways- my life is going to consist of weight loss and healthy habits, and work, and of Course- The Huz! I think it's time to drop the love pounds- even if Lucas says no bc he won't have anything to grab onto! Oh please- I am not sure if he has really ever looked at me! I have never been a waif! Oh well! Some girls have it worse! My husband loves the crap outta me! And I love him so much, and I love that he loves me so much! Even if I like to make fun of him in my blogs! He is just really a funny guy!
Love ya'll!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Ticket!
So- I haven't forgotten about my blog to all my fans or followers out there! I am just kidding! But I have just not had anything to write about.
I still really don't but I do have to say -something weird has happened to me. I have somehow become a P1. ( a P1 is someone who listens to the ticket all day everyday.) This is really strange and out of character for me and I am not sure how my husband swung this one. He listens everyday- AND talks about it all day when I come home from work. He is obsessed with the ticket. What I don't get is why am I? I hate sports- I can watch like 1/2 a cowboy game and then I have to go take a bath or something. I can watch a full basketball game without knowing which team is which and I normally cheer when a team other than the Mavs scores bc it's just too fast paced for this brain. (Side-Note if I am sitting on the couch I can hardly see the 56" TV. I really need to get my eyes checked. ) I love to go to the Rangers games but that is just to get on the jumbo screen, eat a hot dog and people watch! I have no idea how to read that scoreboard, nor can I see it! And I don't know why I like to get on the jumbo screen bc like every time I have I have leaned over to Lucas and said something like" That girl's hair is way to bleach blond," then he points out that was me! It's really weird. He couldn't be happier though! I know he is thinking I am not going to complain that sports are always on in the house! ( I still am- I have to complain about something) The even weirder thing is- I really like listening to the Ticket! I don't know why I have changed into a guy! I thinks it's because I secretly wanna be one of those wife's of a P1 whose husband sends in a picture of her, and says "my wife listens" and they all talk about how hot I am! I mean if you have a trophy , put it on a shelf! ( 1/2-way JK!) We will see how long my sports talk radio days last, I just kind of got tired of Rush and the guys- they can nail a subject into the ground and make you really hate everything going on around you! Anyways gotta go and listen to the Ticket- Tom Grieves (spelling) is on and he lives in the parents neighborhood! Holla!
Lata Playa!
I still really don't but I do have to say -something weird has happened to me. I have somehow become a P1. ( a P1 is someone who listens to the ticket all day everyday.) This is really strange and out of character for me and I am not sure how my husband swung this one. He listens everyday- AND talks about it all day when I come home from work. He is obsessed with the ticket. What I don't get is why am I? I hate sports- I can watch like 1/2 a cowboy game and then I have to go take a bath or something. I can watch a full basketball game without knowing which team is which and I normally cheer when a team other than the Mavs scores bc it's just too fast paced for this brain. (Side-Note if I am sitting on the couch I can hardly see the 56" TV. I really need to get my eyes checked. ) I love to go to the Rangers games but that is just to get on the jumbo screen, eat a hot dog and people watch! I have no idea how to read that scoreboard, nor can I see it! And I don't know why I like to get on the jumbo screen bc like every time I have I have leaned over to Lucas and said something like" That girl's hair is way to bleach blond," then he points out that was me! It's really weird. He couldn't be happier though! I know he is thinking I am not going to complain that sports are always on in the house! ( I still am- I have to complain about something) The even weirder thing is- I really like listening to the Ticket! I don't know why I have changed into a guy! I thinks it's because I secretly wanna be one of those wife's of a P1 whose husband sends in a picture of her, and says "my wife listens" and they all talk about how hot I am! I mean if you have a trophy , put it on a shelf! ( 1/2-way JK!) We will see how long my sports talk radio days last, I just kind of got tired of Rush and the guys- they can nail a subject into the ground and make you really hate everything going on around you! Anyways gotta go and listen to the Ticket- Tom Grieves (spelling) is on and he lives in the parents neighborhood! Holla!
Lata Playa!
Friday, May 15, 2009
My Weird Husband!
The weekend is finally here, and I have a huge set of plans again! I bet I will not get anything done.
Luke and I are going to The Keg for dinner tonight, which I am very excited about, I have never had it. I did look online at the nutritional facts and this is really not a good choice before Memorial Day at the lake house! I am going to jog on the tread before we go. Let's pray I can have a little self control. Maybe just a few bites of the appetizer, not trying to make up for what my husband isn't eating. Which by the way, I hope our children someday get his eating habits. Luke will go to Subway and ask for the Mini sandwich and not finish it. If he goes to Pot Belly's 1/2 of the sandwich is hard for him to finish. We will go to Mexican and he will not touch the chips and queso, he is saving room for his dang tacos. He must get embarrassed by his wife bc I just pick up the bowl of queso and pour it in my mouth- so I guess I don't really need chips either! If he orders tacos he will eat one- ONE! When he goes out on a limb and gets nachos, two with a jalapeno on top is good for him. He will actually push the plate away and do the rub the belly- burp thing you do when you are stuffed. While my eyes are going from my plate to his, I have licked everything off of my plate and I am trying to figure out how I can justify eating the rest of his nachos. He also has to get a to go box everywhere we go. Now I have asked him to stop doing that- he will say "No Scoots this will be a great snack later on tonight" Snack? you mean dinner- you just had a snack- one nacho is not freaking dinner. And by the way- he will never eat the leftovers. I think the whole time we have been together he has never touched any left overs he brings home. They do somehow disappear though. I have a huge problem with leftovers. I have no control over myself when there are leftovers, which is why I never bring them home. I have it stuck in my head that once you put them in the fridge, all the fat goes away. Like we went to BJ's the other night and he ordered the mini pizza and ate one piece. He's a guy! How does he do that? Luckily he left the pizza in the car overnight- so I didn't finish it off.
I am not really sure why I just went down that road, but I can continue to make fun of Luke. He does a lot of weird things. Like when he gets home from work, he doesn't sit down until he goes to bed. He stands to watch TV. He stands in front of the TV, not leaning on anything arms crossed with one hand in his mouth bc he didn't quite get those nails down to the quick earlier in the day. I sit all day at work, sit in the car, and I don't even stand up to come in the house- I scoot. I hate to stand. He has an awful gag reflex and it is so over dramatic. If he drinks something and it for some reason gags him, we both have to be silent for about 10 minutes and he has his head down( he is still standing, I would totally have sat if it was happening to me!) and he has one finger in the air letting me know it's not going to be much longer. I know he is going to survive when he takes a big breath and lifts his head up. He sleep walks, which always ends in him peeing somewhere- like he will get up and sleep walk outside and potty in the bushes. It's really weird. I have never seen a guy have a bigger bond with a tea-cup chihuahua. They are inseparable. The second he gets home she is attached to his hip! He loves her so much, she hates me by the way. He will stand up straight and pat his knees and she will jump into his arms. It's crazy! They both love to watch movies and eat skittles together. Going back to the food thing, like three weeks ago he said he bought some peanut M&M's. He had them in his car and didn't even eat them that day- three days later he pulls out a bag of M&M's from his pocket, he has eaten like 1 or 2 but he is carrying them around with him- Why? in case he gets the urge to eat one more. I mean who actually shakes 1 M&M out of the bag into their hand? Lucas! If I let my self buy a bag of M&M's- a jumbo bag , would have been finished before I even got in line and I would actually be able to say, after they rang me up, " you can just throw away the empty bag"
I guess opposites attract. Lucas is so laid back, go with the flow, nice, always has a smile on his face, fun, great guy. I only smile for pictures, am high strung, anxious, moody, temper could go at any time, stressed out- I will stop there! Just a few more reason why this is going to be a long marriage for Luke!
Anyways hopefully I will get stuff done this weekend, but I am not banking on it! I wonder how much of a 8 oz filet Lucas will bring home tonight?
Luke and I are going to The Keg for dinner tonight, which I am very excited about, I have never had it. I did look online at the nutritional facts and this is really not a good choice before Memorial Day at the lake house! I am going to jog on the tread before we go. Let's pray I can have a little self control. Maybe just a few bites of the appetizer, not trying to make up for what my husband isn't eating. Which by the way, I hope our children someday get his eating habits. Luke will go to Subway and ask for the Mini sandwich and not finish it. If he goes to Pot Belly's 1/2 of the sandwich is hard for him to finish. We will go to Mexican and he will not touch the chips and queso, he is saving room for his dang tacos. He must get embarrassed by his wife bc I just pick up the bowl of queso and pour it in my mouth- so I guess I don't really need chips either! If he orders tacos he will eat one- ONE! When he goes out on a limb and gets nachos, two with a jalapeno on top is good for him. He will actually push the plate away and do the rub the belly- burp thing you do when you are stuffed. While my eyes are going from my plate to his, I have licked everything off of my plate and I am trying to figure out how I can justify eating the rest of his nachos. He also has to get a to go box everywhere we go. Now I have asked him to stop doing that- he will say "No Scoots this will be a great snack later on tonight" Snack? you mean dinner- you just had a snack- one nacho is not freaking dinner. And by the way- he will never eat the leftovers. I think the whole time we have been together he has never touched any left overs he brings home. They do somehow disappear though. I have a huge problem with leftovers. I have no control over myself when there are leftovers, which is why I never bring them home. I have it stuck in my head that once you put them in the fridge, all the fat goes away. Like we went to BJ's the other night and he ordered the mini pizza and ate one piece. He's a guy! How does he do that? Luckily he left the pizza in the car overnight- so I didn't finish it off.
I am not really sure why I just went down that road, but I can continue to make fun of Luke. He does a lot of weird things. Like when he gets home from work, he doesn't sit down until he goes to bed. He stands to watch TV. He stands in front of the TV, not leaning on anything arms crossed with one hand in his mouth bc he didn't quite get those nails down to the quick earlier in the day. I sit all day at work, sit in the car, and I don't even stand up to come in the house- I scoot. I hate to stand. He has an awful gag reflex and it is so over dramatic. If he drinks something and it for some reason gags him, we both have to be silent for about 10 minutes and he has his head down( he is still standing, I would totally have sat if it was happening to me!) and he has one finger in the air letting me know it's not going to be much longer. I know he is going to survive when he takes a big breath and lifts his head up. He sleep walks, which always ends in him peeing somewhere- like he will get up and sleep walk outside and potty in the bushes. It's really weird. I have never seen a guy have a bigger bond with a tea-cup chihuahua. They are inseparable. The second he gets home she is attached to his hip! He loves her so much, she hates me by the way. He will stand up straight and pat his knees and she will jump into his arms. It's crazy! They both love to watch movies and eat skittles together. Going back to the food thing, like three weeks ago he said he bought some peanut M&M's. He had them in his car and didn't even eat them that day- three days later he pulls out a bag of M&M's from his pocket, he has eaten like 1 or 2 but he is carrying them around with him- Why? in case he gets the urge to eat one more. I mean who actually shakes 1 M&M out of the bag into their hand? Lucas! If I let my self buy a bag of M&M's- a jumbo bag , would have been finished before I even got in line and I would actually be able to say, after they rang me up, " you can just throw away the empty bag"
I guess opposites attract. Lucas is so laid back, go with the flow, nice, always has a smile on his face, fun, great guy. I only smile for pictures, am high strung, anxious, moody, temper could go at any time, stressed out- I will stop there! Just a few more reason why this is going to be a long marriage for Luke!
Anyways hopefully I will get stuff done this weekend, but I am not banking on it! I wonder how much of a 8 oz filet Lucas will bring home tonight?
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