12 years ago I wanted a girl. I wanted a girl more than anything, I searched the internet for a girl. I wanted a girl. Girl girl girl. But girls were too expensive, they were twice as much as boys. But I wanted a girl. I wanted a girl so bad. I wanted to find a way to get a girl so I could put bows in her hair and put her in pink outfits. So she could be my little girlfriend that I so desperately craved. I needed a girl. But what I got 12 years ago was a boy. And he has been the best blessing of something I didn't want or think that I would love. I found him on a weekend and asked my sister to pay for half, he was $400, I only had $250 saved up from something, who knows, it isn't like I ever had a job! So off we drove to meet this lady with boys. Only boys. I had my eyes on this chocolate one. But when I got there and saw these three dogs, the only three left from the liter, I didn't want the dark one. I wanted the smallest one, I think he was the runt. He was this little white ball of smoke smelling fluff, the breeder had a cig the entire time and no teeth! I made a deal with her and took the little white one, I would name him Mr. Big.
Big has been the very best friend I could have asked for, he has loved me unconditionally since the day I got him. He was there for me when I had not a friend in the world. I will always be so grateful for his love. We grew up together and found our soul mates together. I found Luke, and he found Skeeter. We have been there for each other through it all. In 2008 he lost all his hair and even though others didn't think he was still cute, I did. I still loved my dog. A few months ago he started not putting one of his legs down, and since then it has progressively gotten worse. The vet told us a few months ago surgery would be very hard, very expensive, and may not fix the problem. If he was a 2 year old dog, try it, but quality of life it may not be fair to do to him. SO I have let him live the past two months not being able to walk very good. The past month or so he hasn't been able to put either back leg down. He walks on his front two legs. He never really walks, we carry him. The only time he walks is to go potty. I have been avoiding the situation for awhile. Yesterday Monkin brought Big to me from the couch in the living room all the way into our bedroom by his neck. The fact that he made no noise the whole walk, and the look in his eyes when I saw him told me something I had been avoiding. It was his time. This is what I can do for him. He hasn't been able to run or jump or even eat solid food for a year now. He hasn't been himself for awhile. He no longer greets us at the door. He can't get up out of his bed. And so my friend, I am going to do this for you. As hard as it is, today is the day and I am so sad to see you go.
You are the sweetest guy anyone has ever met. You have had a joyful life, and my life will forever be changed by you. I will miss you for now, but I know you will be marking that rainbow bridge waiting and running and playing and barking without hearing "SSHHHHHSSHHHHHHHH" I will see you again someday soon, and we will run up that rainbow bridge to Heaven together. Actually I will carry you, because you never even learned to walk on a leash!
And thank you for waiting until I had my other boy……. your timing I will forever be grateful, I know you know I will be ok.
And to think I wanted a girl………..Thank you God for little boys!
I love you piggies,
Mommy
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