Fame!

Being Famous, really I am surprised I am not by now. It has always been a dream of mine, and somewhere in the back of my mind I always thought I would be. I kind of always thought whether I am famous for my humor, hair, queen voice- QUICK side-note, the "QUEEN" voice was my singing voice when I was a little girl. I was riding in the back of Mom's BMW (The "We Car" as I called it and when I would see another BMW I would point it out and say "There's a We Car" What can I say I have always had good taste! )So I was riding in the back at about age 3 or 4 Mom and Linz in the front seat, when I lean forward and say," Do y'all want to hear my Queen voice?" Annoyed with me as they always were because I am sure I had just thrown a huge fit or something- they were both like " Yes, whatever Jo" We were listening to Melissa Manchester, "Don't cry out loud" or "Send in the Clowns"(greatness) and I started singing. They were both in shock, how could a 3 year old have such a large loud voice- anyways it was really pretty good and I always thought I would somehow be a country singer or something. I can still rock that song too, a couple weeks ago I downloaded her greatest hits on ITunes and showed Lucas, he was also in shock. But he hears my "Queen Voice" all the time- after a few miller lights our house turns into a freakin' Celine Dion concert in Vegas!!

I also always was told how I had beautiful hair all my life, now I am very short, 5'5, that's a lie- I am actually 5' 1, but anyways I thought I would grow up to be a hair model someday. They could stick me on a box with 4" heels! I could swing it around for Vidal Sasson. Never happened, yet. I thought I would someday find fame by my sense of humor, also hasn't happened, but again I have never pursued these things. I just expect them to happen. Like I think I live in a dream "movie" world. I have watched too many movies were stuff just happens to ordinary people. And y'all know I am pretty lazy. I guess I think I am like Forest Gump or something.

I can remember my first lottery ticket I ever bought- I was like 21 and the jackpot was like billions, I seriously thought I was going to win. Like I made plans to win. I had already planned on paying off my parents house, dropping out of UTA, bc who needs a degree when you are a billionaire, hiring my sister as my assistant- didn't really need an assistant just thought she'd be a great shopping buddy and we all know Linz can shop, and getting a full set of Louis Vuitton luggage. But to my complete shock, I did not win, which I found very odd- I mean what are the chances? I was pretty upset after that loss to say the least, being the drama queen I am I probably had trouble getting out of bed the next couple days. I think I was pretty down- I really wanted that luggage!

When I was little I wanted to marry Micheal Jackson ( my Dad wasn't on board with that idea-could you imagine MJ being his son- in-law! Both of them at the Golf Club of Dallas together? In their golf shirts and masks!), dance like Janet Jackson, and Sing like Whitney Houston! I think I wanted to be black! Anyways those are pretty big dreams, I didn't want to be a lawyer (shocking, with these brains?), doctor, NOPE- just famous.

And this is something that I was still holding on to when I was 19. I mean I was still thinking I was going to be famous somehow. I can tell you a story about a big mistake I made all in the name of fame! So I am in college in Mississippi, and I am at the Billiards Club, I always went there because they believed I was Lindsey Worsham, not Jodie, and they had penny pitchers and fish bowls. This was back in my liquor days! I am sitting there with our fish bowl, which is a big fish bowl full of blue dye and Everclear, there were like 5 straws and everyone shared it. As I am looking around, mouth on the straw as if I can't remove it until there is no more water in that bowl, I notice a few things. 1. No one else is drinking out of the bowl but me which can't be good and 2. this big bouncer guy. He is big, in a tight black shirt, baseball cap, you've seen him a million times. Now what struck me was not his bulging muscles but what was around that muscle. He had a barbwire Pamela Anderson style Tattoo. I was fascinated. I thought, after too much fish bowl, that was awesome. He had a tattoo that showed even when he had short sleeves on. I wanted a tattoo that showed even when I had capris on. That's it- light bulb moment- So I try to remove myself from the bowl full of Everclear and ice-well, just ice now, and go grab my friends, bc I am getting a tattoo and I am getting one now. SO we all go up to the tattoo bar, oddly I am the only who was getting one, but even weirder no one tried to talk me out of it! SO I decide I am going to get a cross, a pink one, on my foot. My parents can't be mad about that right? I am showing my love for my God, so naturally they could never be mad. After convincing the tattoo artist I hadn't been drinking a fish bowl and I can see that he is in front of me, he starts talking to me about the cross. I think he must had been atheist or something because he convinces me that I shouldn't get a cross because what if I change my religion someday. He was brilliant- after a fish bowl, I was convinced I would possibly change from being a christian someday, what if I decided to be Muslim? SO the cross was out, that was a close one, and now I have it. I would like a pink star please sir, why you ask because I want to be a "Star" someday. No amount of fame could make up for that pain, or the tearful phone call I had to make to "The Lady" to tell her I got a tattoo. Her response (though tears) "I bet you have hepatitis" I had kept it a secret for like a year, but had to tell her when Sheryl asked me to baby sit the girls for a weekend. I knew Ali would notice it, and it was like 100 degrees, I had to wear capris- not jeans, socks and shoes. That weekend Ali comes into the kitchen and she had drawn a star on her foot! I think I got on to her and then took her to get solar nails or something bc I felt bad!

Needless to say I regret the tat, and it will be removed someday, hopefully before I am in carpool line at Oakridge. Apparently I think I am still gonna win the lotto if I am banking on our kids going to Oakridge! Again Lucas, it's gonna be a long marriage, bc I still want that luggage too!

Talk to y'all later!